The Unromantic Love Story
by All-knowing Alien
Summary: Because all HD shippers have to write a Veela!fic. This time with a twist. Slash.


This is written as compensation for deleting my other HD story, "Wolfsbane". Although I'm not sure many people would care about that. (cry)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe, because you do not see Harry and Draco kissing in the sixth book, do you?

Warning: Slash. Nothing explicit (it _is_ a one-shot).

OoOoOoOoOo

Oh, hello there. Come in, come in, warm yourself by the fire. Oh no, child, don't worry about the snow, my carpet's got a charm against water and dirt. That's right…would you like a cup of tea? Something else? No?

Alright, child. I can see you are here for a purpose, and I won't go beating about the bush. What is the intention of your visit?

Oh. Well, I will not say you are the first to ask for that, and sadly, you will not be the last. As is customary, you will first have to prove yourself worthy of my help. Ha! Just because I live here in the middle of nowhere, you think you can buy me off, child? No. I will not accept your trinkets; I have no use for them.

So, your parents are the problem. They want to sell you off to a foreign wizard? Do not be melodramatic, child. Wizarding dowries are much, much more than adequate price for a human being. Alright, so that wasn't in the best of tastes. I apologise.

Well, then, what do you suggest I do? I cannot very well help you, short of removing your parents, or even this foreign wizard. No, do not give me that tone of voice, child. What use would a Love Potion be to you now?

…Or do you think that a Love Potion will help you _find_ your love? I'm sorry, child, it doesn't work that way. A Love Potion is a dangerous thing, one of the only potions that can actually change the actual thoughts and memories and decisions of the drinker.

No, the drinker will not fall in love with the first person he or she sees. This is potions, a _science_, not some half baked Muggle movie. I deal in precision, child. If you are the one who administers the potion, the drinker will fall in love with _you_.

Not looking like such a good idea after all, eh? That's all right, it's a common mistake. Even though the Ministry has made Love Potions legal, the public simply do not know a _thing_ about them. Let me be the first to tell you, child, it is not worth it. You have to keep dosing the object of your desire, more and more frequently as time goes by, because some develop immunity to it.

And would you be able to live with yourself, knowing that every action, every word, every look in your direction made by he or she is purely because of a potion?

What do I suggest? Why, child, I thought you'd never ask! I recommend talking to this foreign bloke…chances are he doesn't want you either, no offence meant. Perhaps you could introduce him to one of your charming female friends. Or male, if he's so inclined.

Oh, no, no, it's no trouble at all, child. Just make sure you tell everyone about the harmful effects of Love Potions…I don't need more people banging on my door all day.

What's that? The snow's blocking the front door? Oh, bother. My husband won't be here until much later…do you mind waiting? No, I'm sorry; our fireplace isn't connected to the Floo Network. My husband likes his privacy.

Don't look so disheartened child. I'm sure you'll be out of here in a jiffy. Now would you like a cup of tea? Hot chocolate? With marshmallows?

There you go dear, drink up. I can't have you dying of cold.

Would you like to hear a story while we wait? It's quite interesting, I'm sure you'd like it. Plus we don't have much to do here, unless you want to discuss magical theory, and that _is_ a boring subject. Oh. Good. Are you comfortable? Warm? Your hot chocolate steady?

Alright.

Now, I'm sure you have heard of Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived? Yes, of course you have. Harry Potter, child, was a powerful wizard, even more powerful than Albus Dumbledore. He survived a Killing Curse from a great Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort, when he was just a baby. He also defeated said Dark Lord when he was just seventeen!

Hmm? Oh, it had something to do with a prophecy. I don't know the actual wording, but basically it meant that one of them would have to kill the other. Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort, child, who else would I be talking about?

Anyway, as I was saying, Harry Potter went to a school called Hogwarts. Ah yes, you've been there too? Oh, a Hufflepuff? That explains a lot, no offence meant child.

He was a Gryffindor. And he had friends and broke a few rules. But what is important is that on the very first day, on the train ride to Hogwarts, he made an enemy. Draco Malfoy. Yes, you would have heard of him too. He is the icon of Slytherin much like Harry Potter is the icon of Gryffindor.

Now you must understand that their enmity was legendary. Draco Malfoy tried his best to get Harry Potter expelled, while the Gryffindor did his best to humiliate his enemy. This, coupled with the already existent tension between both houses, made for a very unhealthy rivalry.

Why were they enemies in the first place? Well, child, on the train, Draco said some… objectionable things about Harry's new friend, and that didn't go well with Harry. The Gryffindor refused his hand in friendship, and that was a bone of contention for the Slytherin.

Where was I…? Oh, yes. By their sixth year, their antipathy had evolved to – antipathy, child. It means their hatred for each other. Quite. As I was saying, their antipathy had evolved to duels in the hallway and fist fights on the grounds.

Many stories will say that everything changed when they shared a detention and uncovered mutual attraction between the two. _That is wrong_.

Yes, that does sound terribly romantic doesn't it? You've heard that version before? I assure you that _this_ version is accurate. Well, I have my sources, my dear.

Well during this detention they actually beat each other up worse than usual. They had to be brought up to the Headmaster's Office, where they were threatened with suspension, and, if the fights continued, expulsion. Oh, no, child, it wasn't an extreme measure on the Headmaster's part. Why, I've heard of three students who were expelled when they sneaked up on Professor Kettleburn and – oh, I'm sorry, I'm digressing.

Anyhow, it was their Heads of House that figured out a way to get the two of them to stop the hostility. They were pulled out of all their classes, and then placed in a room by themselves. How did this work? Well, spells were placed – by the Headmaster, no less – to prevent them from fighting. Bodily fighting, anyway. They were dosed with Veritaserum every two hours.

At this point I should probably step in and explain a few properties of Veritaserum. Your Potions education should have taught you that it is the strongest truth potion in existence, and that only three drops are sufficient for a fully grown man to spill his deepest secrets. What you may not know, child, is that the potion passes through the system quite fast. Less than two hours and you need to be re-dosed. And you can never develop immunity to it.

The Potions Master, Severus Snape, (honestly one of the most brilliant Potions Masters in the Wizarding World) was renowned for his Veritaserum – the purest and most effective in existence.

Ultimately, child, it did the trick. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy could exchange insults only for so long. Oh, you know, foul language, abuse of family lineages, friends and political views – the usual. Ha! I'm not going to teach _you_ any of them. Be serious, child, back then we had _real_ insults. Ooh, that makes me feel old.

If you continue with that silly giggling, child, I shall not finish my story.

Thank you.

Now, as I was saying, after a day or two of criticising each other, they honestly got quite bored. Without the stress of school, the socialising of friends, the distraction of Quidditch – let us not forget the Quidditch! – they did not find baiting each other as exciting as they used to.

They ignored each other for as long as two more days before cracking. For the first time in their respective histories, Draco and Harry had a civilised conversation. Of course it was aided by the Veritaserum, but the brilliance of that, child, is that there was no way for each _not_ to trust the other.

It was a week later before they were allowed to leave the room. By that time they had managed to come to a truce, of sorts. What kept them from fighting again? Why, the fact that they had already been threatened with expulsion, and that they had lost hundreds of house points each. Their housemates, although sympathetic, were not pleased.

After that they were paired up for every single subject they shared, just to see whether they would push their luck. But the thing was, the intervention was actually quite effective, and they cooperated quite well in doing all their projects. They even went to Hogsmeade together sometimes. Surprising, isn't it, child?

Of course, their friends and family (and quite honestly, the rest of Britain!) were quite leery of this new friendship. Who could blame them? These were _the_ most famous adversaries of Hogwarts since Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin themselves! Their history would hardly allow them to just kiss and make up, right?

No – I'm not being literal, silly child. It's just a saying. Good Merlin, just _what_ are they teaching nowadays?

Just before school ended, and subsequently weeks before the Great War, both Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter announced that they were engaged to be married. The reason? Well, child, you _do_ know that most purebloods tended to procreate with magical creatures like Veelas and Succubae instead of Muggles whenever there was a shortage in suitable spouses, yes? Ah, good.

There was Veela blood in Draco Malfoy, from about ten generations back – diluted, yes, but present. Yes, good guess, child. Their declaration came just a week after the Veela Mating season. It was readily accepted, because Veela Mating is a lot different than the Wizarding kind, as well as a lot more sacred.

It was because of this that the Malfoys defected. Harry Potter was able to win mostly because many pure-blooded families followed their example. Voldemort – his troops demoralised and significantly outnumbered, and the Dark Lord himself without his right hand wizard – was no match for the Boy-Who-Lived and his Veela Mate.

As you know, they won the war and lived happily ever in solitude. No one in the Wizarding World except their family and close friends knew where the enemies-turned-lovers lived. Many witches sighed over the love story of their Saviour finding love in his greatest enemy, the Veela who swept him off his feet. The men scoffed at the story, but inwardly wondered if they could be so lucky.

What if I told you this story was a lie – or, at least…_inaccurate_?

Oh, more hot chocolate? Here you go, child.

What the Wizarding World does not know is that Draco Malfoy did not have the aggressive Veela gene. Merlin, you don't even know what _that_ means? It means, my dear, that although he had certain physical characteristics of a Veela, like the bone structure and hair colour, he did not exhibit the magical aspects of one.

In short, he didn't _need_ a Mate. Not in the way Veelas do. Yes, that's right; they cannot live in peace without a Mate.

So this new information brings about a whole new question; why in Merlin's name did they get married if Harry wasn't Draco's Mate? Well, _I _know because my sources are extremely good at what they do, child. Oh no, I'm not related to either one of them, how flattering!

The answer? They weren't Mates, pure and simple.

I'm glad you asked, child. Somehow, in the course of their numerous projects and Hogsmeade trips, they forged a tentative friendship, and from there – well. I'm sure _you_ would know what teenagers do whenever they get attracted to someone else. Why the 'Veela thing'? Merlin, child, kindly do not refer to it as the 'Veela thing' from now on. Children these days…

The 'Veela thing', as you so eloquently put it, was (in my opinion) an excellent move on their part. It made the whole situation 'believable', as well as avoided any nasty effects on the Malfoy family's part. I mean, the story _has_ stayed on till now, has it not?

And that's it! The big secret behind the love story of the Boy-Who-Lived. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy fell in love like normal people – after getting to know each other. Not because of magic – and do _not_ even dare think that love is a kind of 'magic', child. I absolutely detest –

Oh, hello, love. No, no, this is a client of mine; we were just waiting for you to come back so she could return home, poor dear. Oh, child, meet my husband, Dr – um, Doctor James. No, he is a Wizard, he just practices Muggle medicine.

Well, off you go, child. Got your coat, your mittens? Your wand? Alright, have a safe trip home! Do not forget the advice I gave you child; _talk_ to him. Oh, you don't need to pay me, really. Your welcome!

Would you mind closing the door, love? Thank you.

Why did I call you James? Well, I couldn't well call you by your real name, could I? Yes, yes, I know we agreed that you're Lucian and I'm Carmine, but really, love. I missed you so much all I could think about was you – and James just popped into my head. Hey, at least I didn't have to Obliviate anyone this time!

Yep. All day, I was occupied with what I would do to you in bed. Well, love; you'll just have to find out _what_ after dinner, won't you?

Mmm – hey! No distracting me!

Oh, nothing. She just wanted a Love Potion, as per usual. I just gave her some advice and told her a story to pass the time. I resent that, my advice is just fine!

Well of _course_ I told her _that_ story. You should know by now that I love referring to myself in the third person – and you know how they never believe it anyway. Oh, just let me have my fun, love.

Shall we have dinner, then? Ooh, you popped into France for this? How sweet! Sure I remembered our anniversary, love. Your present is after dinner, remember? Mmm. Of course I can't wait. Dinner in bed? That way we won't have to negotiate the stairs later.

Hmm? Oh.

I love you too, Draco.

OoOoOoOoOo

A/N: I hope it's not too confusing. If it is, just tell me what parts you didn't get and I'll explain to you.

Alien.


End file.
